Personal Empowerment Tried & Tested
It is important that we empower ourselves everyday, all day
A wild array of thoughts are racing through my exhausted mind when I think of personal empowerment; reflecting on recent conversations and experiences in my own life as well as those around me, and suddenly I’m hit with the punch that I thought I had escaped and gained personal empowerment. The numbness is wearing off and the awareness is setting in. I suddenly see dogs in a circus, performing and providing entertainment for the masses, and it occurs to me that I have been a dog in this circus, we all have, we have fought and clawed our way through shit, only to get slapped in the face with a handful of fuck you.
I have this urge to run, to run fast and hard until I can’t breathe or take one more step; a need to just escape this place, and all of the useless, senseless bullshit that I digest every single day. I need peace, and although I know that peace exists within me, I am having a really hard time connecting to that part of me right now because I am angry and disappointed at things and people. I am not gullible or weak minded enough to not know that life is hard, and people are not always kind or fair, but there is a line where it goes from simply being a good intentioned person who makes a bad choice, to just being a manipulating, deceitful piece of shit. The corporate world is full of the latter; and I realize more and more as I grow through this life, (yes, I said GROW through it) that more and more people are just adapting to that kind of mentality as well. We’re fucking lost! And the ones who preach the loudest and talk the most, are the most lost of any one, because they need to convince themselves of their grandness so they just keep telling themselves how perfect and “aware” they are, while they look down on the rest of us as though we are objects to be pitied.
The Pity Of Personal Empowerment
I crawled into my bed thinking about how much I envy those who are already gone from this chaotic world, those who are now floating free in another space who will not and do not have to know pain or disappointment anymore; yea I envy them.
It’s hard to not become bitter and cold inside when the vast majority of the people you encounter will test you and entice you to be just that; it’s hard, but it’s a battle I’m not willing to lose. I have felt for awhile now like I was facing off with the devil over and over again, being drawn into the flames and feeling my skin burn from the heat; today I am aware that the devil is lurking closer than I knew and is waiting to come face to face with me. With one phone call yesterday, the invitation to dance was extended; and trust me Bitch, DANCE I WILL.
01/2013 ©2013.NOVEMBERGOLD.All Rights Reserved.
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